


A Jedi craves not these things

by islndgurl777



Series: Star Wars OT Soulmarks [6]
Category: Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 19:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10771350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islndgurl777/pseuds/islndgurl777
Summary: He knows, somehow, the quest to find this Yoda person is a quest he has to complete without the aid of his soulmates. That doesn’t make it any easier to leave them.





	A Jedi craves not these things

**Author's Note:**

> This was the most difficult one to write thus far, and it's entirely Yoda's fault. His speech patterns are The Worst.
> 
> Some dialogue borrowed from ESB. Beta'd by Kaitlyn.

He doesn’t know why he doesn’t tell Han and Leia about his vision right away, but he knows why he failed to mention it to them before they left Hoth. He knows it’s something he has to take care of on his own, and he knows there’s no way they’d let him go alone to a system they know nothing about. He knows, somehow, the quest to find this Yoda person is a quest he has to complete without the aid of his soulmates.

That doesn’t make it any easier to leave them.

His heart feels heavy as he switches to manual control and heads in the opposite direction from the others in his group. R2-D2 beeps a question at him. “There’s nothing wrong, Artoo,” he says, charting a course to the planet Ben wants him to visit.

Artoo asks when they are going to regroup with the others. “We’re not gonna regroup with the others,” he tells him. “We’re going to the Dagobah system.”

 

///

 

Crash landing in a swamp and getting stranded is not how he expects to arrive on the planet.

A little green alien who goes through his things and beats his droid is not who he expects will teach him the ways of the Force.

Nothing about this situation is what he expects, and that frustrates him. He’s in an unfamiliar place, with an unfamiliar teacher. There’s a persistent sense of  _ wrongwrongwrong _ which has been running through the back of his mind since he left Han and Leia. He wants to learn, but he just can’t shake the feeling this isn’t where he’s supposed to be. He should be with them.

“Resist following these impulses, you must,” Yoda tells him when he brings it up.

“But they’re my soulmates,” Luke says incredulously. “They’re a part of me, I can’t just ignore this feeling something may be wrong with them!”

“Dangerous to bond too closely with your soulmates, it can be. Such strong emotions lead to the Dark Side.” His voice grows low as he says it, a faraway look in his eyes. 

His brows come together in confusion, but then… “Vader,” he says softly. He looks up to see Yoda’s eyes widen in surprise. “Vader turned to the Dark Side because--”

“Made him more vulnerable to the Dark Side, Vader’s attachments did. Abandon his soulmate to follow his duty, he would not.”

Luke feels an uncomfortable lurch in his heart. “But that doesn’t necessarily mean his love for his soulmates was the reason he fell!” Would he really have to give up his soulmates in order to become a Jedi, or else risk becoming a Sith? He doesn’t think he could do it.

Yoda sighs heavily. “Sick, his soulmate was. Offered a solution to save her, the Emperor did. Burned the Jedi Temple and killed Younglings, Vader did, for her. Do the same, would you?”

“No!” Luke says, cringing away in horror. “I could never, would never, kill children!”

Yoda nods and says heavily, “Thought that once, Vader did. The Dark Side clouds judgment. Impossible, it is, to know what you would do, until in the same situation, you are.”

 

///

 

Yoda’s cautionary words drift through his head later that evening as he attempts meditation on the edge of the swamp. He tries to put the thoughts to the side so he can concentrate, but they keep swimming to the forefront of his mind, making his chest tight. The idea of rejecting his soulmates is repugnant, not least because he was raised by a pair of soulmates and knows the value of the bond. According to Aunt Beru, his parents and grandparents had been soulmates as well, an incredibly rare series of events, given the size of the galaxy and the frequency with which people met their soulmates in general.

How can he possibly give up Han and Leia, the last real family he has left in the galaxy, and the bonds he has created with them over the last three years? 

The simple answer is: he can’t.

The tightness in his chest loosens as he comes to this realization and he places his hand over his words in comfort. Yoda tells him he must let go of his attachment to them, but he feels in his heart that it’s the wrong choice. He needs Han and Leia in order to become the person he’s destined to be.

Luke heads back to Yoda’s hut and sleeps soundly with this realization.

 

///

 

Jedi training continues to confound him, and his frustrations continue to build until he hits his breaking point. When he comes back from the cave, confused by the vision of himself as Vader, the nagging feeling of  _ wrongwrongwrong _ returns stronger than before, impacting his ability to focus on his training. Yoda notices and rebukes him again for his attachment to his soulmates. Luke barely resists the impulse to jump into his newly freed X-wing and follow the feeling until he finds Han and Leia again.

The feeling simmers in the back of his mind day after day, until one day during training it boils over in the form of a vision.

 

///

 

He’s readying his X-wing to leave that night.

“Luke, you must complete the training,” Yoda says.

He knows he needs to complete the training to have his best chance at defeating Vader, but his heart is screaming at him to  _ gogogo _ . In the end, the decision is easy. “I can’t get the vision out of my head. They’re my soulmates, I’ve got to help them.”

“You must not go,” Yoda argues, adamant.

“Han and Leia will die if I don’t!” he blurts, panicked. He’s wasting time arguing with Yoda, he needs to go  _ now _ .

“You don’t know that,” says a familiar voice, and Ben materializes between the trees. “Even Yoda cannot see their fate.”

“But I can help them,” Luke shoots back. “I feel the Force.” It has to be enough.

“But you cannot control it,” Ben says.

Luke looks away, frustrated by their insistence that he stay. They are Jedi of the old Order; they have no idea what it’s like to love a soulmate and be in danger of losing them.

“This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the Dark Side of the Force,” Ben continues.

“Yes, to Obi-Wan you listen. The cave. Remember your failure at the cave,” Yoda cautions him, anything to make him stay.

“But I’ve learned so much since then!” He can’t stand by and continue arguing anymore. He needs to get going, so he starts preparing his ship to leave. “Master Yoda, I promise to return and finish what I’ve begun, you have my word.”

“It is you and your abilities the Emperor wants,” Ben says softly. “That is why your friends are made to suffer.”

He knows this, and his reply is simple. “That’s why I have to go.”

“Luke, I don’t want to lose you to the Emperor the way I lost Vader,” Ben says quietly, and a heavy feeling settles in Luke’s chest.

“You won’t,” he says simply in reply. There is no other choice for him.

Yoda sighs. “Stopped, they must be. On this, all depends.” His tone becomes more urgent as he continues. “Only a fully trained Jedi Knight, with the Force as his ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor. If you end your training now, if you choose the quick and easy path, as Vader did, you will become an agent of evil.”

“Patience,” Ben pleads.

“And sacrifice Han and Leia?” Luke shoots back, venomous. Every second he wastes here is another second his Soulmates are in pain.  _ He needs to go _ .

“If you honor what they fight for?” Yoda asks. “Yes.”

“If you choose to face Vader, you will do it alone,” Ben says. “I cannot interfere.”

Luke looks away and nods. “I understand.” With one last look back at the two Jedi Masters, he climbs up into his X-wing and orders R2-D2 to start it up so they can finally leave.

Ben calls his name as he’s strapping himself in. “Don’t give in to hate,” he cautions again. “That leads to the Dark Side.”

“Strong is Vader,” Yoda adds. “Mind what you have learned. Save you, it can.”

Luke lets out a breath. They have accepted he is leaving. They are letting him go. “I will,” he says. “And I’ll return,” he promises Yoda before he closes the cockpit and begins to lift off the ground.

Once he and R2-D2 are in the air, he takes the controls, as he is unsure where exactly Han and Leia are. “I’m just following my instincts,” he tells the droid. “Once I get a better idea where we’re going, I’ll let you take over, but for now, I need to man the controls.” He places his hand above his heart, over his Marks, lets out a long breath, and closes his eyes. “Alright, you two. Where are you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I have completed Han and Leia on Cloud City, just waiting for Kaitlyn to beta, and I am mostly done with Luke's confrontation with Vader. I'm not sure when the next one will be posted, but I appreciate so much the support this series has gotten in the form of kudos, comments, and subscriptions!


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